“Verily, part of perfection in Islam is for a person to leave what does not concern him.”
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2318
When are you getting married?
When are you having a child?
When will you drive?
When will you get a job?
When... when... when...?
Sounds familiar? Too often people who may not have some of the above are asked this question. And it's quite annoying, inappropriate and unnecessary. I'll tell you why.
We need to be considerate of others. What we have, others may not have and that's fine. Every person has struggles and goes through tests which may not look like much from our perspective. But they're going through it. Sometimes staying awake at night, sometimes worrying though the day. Or sometimes they probably aren't.
But regardless. We shouldn't ask questions like the above that could really hurt a person.
Some people aren't married and they know why. They come across many obstacles which may prevent them from getting married at a certain time in their life. Cultural pressure, financial reasons, expectations etc.
If we are really concerned about someone not being married, make Dua for them. That'll be a beautiful gift for them. If they have a genuine reason which you can help with, be at their service, but don't make them feel bad.
Same goes with a couple not having a child, yet. Many people expect couples to have a kid in the first 9 months to a year of marriage.
Couples may have a reason to not have a child. They know their situation better.
We shouldn't stick our noses in other people's business. If you are close to either of a couple who don't have a child even years after marriage, don't say stuff to them that'll not only make them feel bad, it could affect their marriage.
We should be mindful of those who may not have a flashy car, high paid job, own house etc.
Leave people alone. How many people smile and even laugh when you ask them the above questions, but deep inside they are hurt. They can even doubt themselves. Husbands can doubt their wives and wives can doubt their husbands.
Please stop. Make Dua for people. Help if people ask you for help.
May Allah grant us understanding, Aameen
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